Yesh Matsav

Yesterday was my first day of Ulpan (language class) at Ulpan Gordon. I was told to come in the morning for the placement test, and when I arrived I joined the teeming masses of seekers of Hebrew knowledge, and was given an exam to assess my reading and writing skills. Needless to say, they’re rather limited, but not so limited to place me in a complete beginner’s class. However, as the examinatrix informed me, there wasn’t a great placement available for me in the evening classes, but if I wanted I could join the beginner’s class which had started last week and be the “class genius.”

I decided to go for genius status (I take it where I can) and start from aleph bet. So last night I showed up for class expecting to sit next to Adam, Rebecca, and Lisa. But instead, it was Muhammad, Ming, Lu Tau, and Paola. In fact, I appeared to be in the seemingly paradoxical situation of being one of the few Jews taking a course in Hebrew language. My colleagues were a motley crew of workers, refugees, diplomats and others from around the world who were in Israel for a variety of reasons, many as of yet to be determined. Sitting next to me, for example, was a woman from Brazil that came from a town I had never heard of. When I asked her what brought her to Israel (in my rudimentary but comparatively brilliant Hebrew) she pointed to the gold ring on her finger. She married a guy named Moishe, and now she’s in Tel Aviv. Go figure. There was also Muhammad, a refugee from Sudan (I’d definitely like to talk to him about his story), a Philipina worker, a young Thai hipster, and a pale faced chain smoking Swede, to name but a few.

And then there was the Chinese guy in the back of the class who was trying to challenge my status as class genius. When I entered he was chatting away on the phone in Hebrew, causing a student in front of him to nervously enquire out loud if this was indeed the beginner’s class. And when Rachel, our teacher, would ask the class, for example, “eizeh yom hayom?” (what day is it today), perhaps reflecting China’s aspirations for dominant world status he would yell out loud before anyone else had a chance, “hayom yom sheni!” (today is Monday). Rachel felt compelled to tell him to slow down a little so as not to make the other students feel bad. Then, sharing a cultural lesson about proud Jewish mothers to the Israel newcomers, she informed him that her daughter spoke fluent Chinese and had spent a year in university in Taipei. So there.